So sad...

OK, now the intial "shock" of our PGR friend Deltoid's death is wearing off somewhat. I'm finding myself to be more weepy and my heart feels pretty raw right now. I didn't know him well like many of the others did, but nonetheless...anyone actively involved with the Patriot Guard will tell you that there is a very close bond among the members that develops very quickly. Plus, our family "adopted" his son when his son went to Iraq... and in my mind, that automatically makes them "family." :)

I think when Friday, the day of the funeral, gets here, I'm going to be a basket case. Because then the shock will have faded completely.

What really sux is that I'll have to drive myself to and from the funeral - about an hour and a half from my home. Hubby was somewhat considering asking for Friday off to go with me, but his uncle died Sunday night (his viewing is tonight, funeral tomorrow). That being the case, he doesn't feel like he should or can request yet another day off from work (which would be unpaid and we really can't afford). so, I'm left to fend for myself on Friday. In many ways that will be a relief because he does not handle 'crying' well and it would end up as a vicious argument at some point, more than likely. But on the other hand... I just hate to be left alone to drive myself to and from... I'm not sure it's such a bright idea to be driving when I know I'll be that upset. I thought about getting a hotel room in the area (as many others are) for Thursday night to Friday, so I wouldn't have to drive friday a.m., but we don't have the $ for that. Well, I'll just suck it up and carry on, is all. what else can I do?

Extra prayers are greatly appreciated. As bad as I'm feeling this - it has got to be ten trillion times worse for his son & family, and for those who cared for him round the clock the past few months.

calgon, take me away... please?